Dulling of the Edge

As is my nature, now that the migration has passed and settled, I was dreaming up new projects that the company could benefit from. Since boss is opposed to housing tapes offsite (post), I wondered if we could use our west coast office as a disaster recovery site and vice-versa. I could rebuild both the older servers, send one there, and both could serve that purpose. Using the old hardware, this could be accomplished at relatively low cost.

Then another thought hit me. It was unconscious at first. I just didn't want to approach boss with the idea. I didn't want to start any preparatory research to present the idea to him. I didn't want to bring it up at all. Time and again I have heard boss tell me I'm wasting my time. I did just that when I spoke with an offsite storage facility for the backup tapes. I also did that when I intended to view a 30-minute WebEx (site) demo from a Kintera competitor. Luckily he shot me an email when he found out, demanding I cancel the appointment. It was irrelevant why I wanted to view the demo. Knowing if there is a better product out there, or knowing if Kintera is comperatively worthwhile, really is a waste of time.

So I dropped the disaster recovery idea, despite thinking it is still a good one. I realized that in a few short months boss had worn me down. This is not who I am. I don't give up on an idea because of this but, as is obvious above, I've become bitter. I used to do the homework so I could provide any other decision-makers a full understanding of what, why, and how. Now I don't want to do it because it's too difficult to gauge whether this will be another "waste of time." While I still pride myself on my work, I'm starting to feel the dulling of my edge. I think he's won and I'm very disappointed.