If I am a typical case, the caregiver of a brain cancer patient will have time for nothing. For me, time needs to be split between work, kids, wife, father, personal interests, father’s legal matters, father’s medical matters, and (ours and father’s) bills. I can’t focus on anything because for every task I do, I think about what is not getting done in the other categories. Nothing is ever done right or to satisfaction.
Personal interests are the first thing to go. The brain cancer patient might be mostly homebound but the caregiver becomes trapped too. As the only child, I do not have another to depend on. My wife must focus on the children, who are young, and therefore most of the burden is on me. That is not to say my wife does not do a big part but I do try to shoulder as much of the responsibility as possible so the kids get as much attention as possible.
My three-year old is so upset with me that she does everything to she can to shun me when I do manage to be around. It’s a natural response that I cannot do anything about it.
Caregiving for a brain cancer patient is complicated, thankless and futile and knowing this only makes it all harder. Sadly sometimes I wish it were over, for him and us. And then I just feel guilty again.