His reactions are difficult to understand. To my wife, he can’t be in the same room with her. To the home health aide, he often gets angry and utters obscenities. To me, he is always kind and understanding, or at the very least, silent about his disapprovals. To the children, my father is lovely.
For my wife the situation is very difficult. Because of work I cannot be home, while she must be home for the children. The aide is there to help but he only comes four hours a day. My wife must take care of the kids and help my father to some extent. It is a thankless job for which I can do no more than thank her. My father responds by being unkind and I do not know if he is to blame. Sometimes when he is lucid he apologizes for his behavior.
It is romantic to think such difficult circumstances can bring people even closer but I fear this will irreparably damage us instead. I don’t want this cancer to affect us forever.